


Bickering with Books

by dracogotgame



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Books, Fluff, Humour, M/M, old fic, reposted, so many books
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 07:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15214061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracogotgame/pseuds/dracogotgame
Summary: Draco and Harry bicker via books.





	Bickering with Books

“And what will we be having today, Monsieur?”   
  
“That man’s head on a platter.”  
  
“Pardonnez-moi?”  
  
“I said surprise me.”  
  
Draco dismissed the waiter with a terse gesture and went back to glaring daggers at the table dead ahead. Potter grinned cheekily and waggled his eyebrows, looking atrociously out of place at the high-end café. He was sipping at his cappuccino— not unlike Draco. He had a book carelessly propped in one hand and he was making quite the show of reading it.  
  
Ha! As if.  
  
Draco scowled and went back to glaring at his own book _._  Granted, no Muggle author could ever match the likes of Goshawk or Whisp, but he couldn’t frequent a non-magical establishment with  _Most Potente Potions_ tucked under his arm, could he? Of course, he could always spell the book to look different but lately, Draco tired of the effort. It was much easier to just read Muggle books instead. They were quaint but oddly charming. And the lack of moving pictures helped him focus, something magical texts rarely afforded. All in all, Draco rather enjoyed these quiet afternoons when he could just take a book and himself out to lunch.  
  
Or at least, he  _was_ until Potter butted in.  
  
Draco raised his head and stole another look. Potter was staring intently at his book, seemingly caught up in his reading. As Draco watched, he nodded thoughtfully and turned the page.  
  
That bare faced  _liar._  
  
He was just waiting for the right moment, Draco was sure of it. His hands tightened around his copy of  _Flirting with Disaster —_ a kitschy, paperback romance he had  _only_  picked up to confirm his theory (and not at all because of the fit dark haired bloke on the cover).  
  
Sure enough, he was right. Potter moved his book just a fraction and Draco skimmed the title.  
  


**_Flirting with Potter ;)_ **

  
Draco slammed his coffee cup on the table. Hard. A few patrons jumped but Potter didn’t even bother looking up. His lips twitched though, and Draco just  _knew_  the bastard was howling with laughter on the inside.  
  
This was the ninth or tenth time he’d pulled this stunt.  
  
The first time it happened, Draco assumed it was just a very unfortunate accident. What were the odds that Potter would walk into his café with a book? For that matter, what were the odds that Potter could read? No, it just had to be a coincidence. Therefore, Draco had done the sensible thing. He ignored the prat and went back to reading ‘ _Something Wicked This Way Comes’._  
  
Potter responded by pulling out his own book and setting it on the table in full view of Draco.

  
**_And Damn, If It Doesn’t Have One Fine Arse._ **

  
Draco nearly choked on his coffee.   
  
Surely, that didn’t...but how could he...wait,  _what?!_  
  
And so, it started.  
  
Since that fateful day, Potter had made it his mission to challenge every one of Draco’s books with a ridiculous counterpart of his own making.  
  
Draco read  _To Kill a Mockingbird._ Potter read _**To Snag a Slytherin.**_  
  
 _What Colour is Your Parachute? **What Colour is Your Underwear?**_  
  
 _Gone with the Wind. **Wait, Are We Still Talking About Your Underwear?**_  
  
This was the point where Draco started entertaining some very graphic murder fantasies. Nevertheless, he persevered, determined not to let Potter’s absurd antics scare him off.  
  
 _Moby Dick. **Ooh, Now We’re Talking!**_  
  
 _Journey to the End of the Night. **Okay, But You Have to Buy Me Dinner First.**_  
  
And of course, there was the one that got the dubious distinction of first place in Potter’s one-sided War against the Classics. Draco would never be able to finish  _Crime and Punishment_ after seeing Potter snickering through  ** _A How-to Guide for the Exciting World of Bondage._**  
  
But those days were over because Draco was drawing the line. Enough was enough. Potter had ruined books Draco didn’t even  _know_  existed and it ended here and now. He was going to confront the prat and figure out his end game.  
  
So, Draco squared his shoulders, marched over to Potter’s table and slammed his fist down on it, demanding an immediate response.  
  
“Afternoon, Malfoy,” Potter greeted. “I didn’t see you there.”  
  
Draco’s eye twitched. “What are you doing?” he hissed. “More importantly,  _why_  are you doing it?”  
  
Potter’s brow furrowed and he batted his lashes all too innocently. “What? Can’t a bloke just take a book out to lunch without getting accosted?”  
  
The eye twitch returned with a vengeance. Draco’s was starting to see red at the edges of his vision. “You,” he managed to sputter. “I don’t know what you think you’re playing at, Potter but I am telling you  _right now...”_  
  
“But since you’re here,” Potter cut in, glibly sliding a chair out. “Care to join me?”  
  
Draco trailed off and gaped soundlessly, somewhat thrown by Potter’s confident grin. “Come on,” he cajoled, patting the seat. “We can read together.”  
  
“What makes you...I don’t want to...why would you even  _think_  that...”  
  
Potter cut him off with an exaggerated sigh.  _“You’re_  the one who marched up here to bother  _me,_  Malfoy. Remember?”  
  
“You...I...no, wait...”  
  
“Exactly,” Potter declared firmly. “So sit down. I’m on Chapter Six of  _ **Flirting with Potter.**  _It’s a real page-turner.”  
  
Draco blinked, but finally, he took a seat next to Potter. This wasn’t exactly familiar territory. “That’s not a real book,” he argued weakly.   
  
It couldn’t be.   
  
Right?  
  
Potter grinned and leaned closer. “If you like,” he whispered, “we can always read  _ **A How-to Guide for the Exciting World of Bondage**  _together.”  
  
Draco flushed furiously. Colour flew to his cheeks and Potter’s eyes flashed with appreciation. The sight was both arousing and annoying and Draco straightened his shoulders again, determined to beat Potter at his own stupid game.  
  
“Okay,” he replied coolly. “But you have to buy me dinner first.”  
  
And if Potter’s resulting grin made it seem like this was what he’d planned all along, it meant  _nothing._  Draco was the victor this time. He had called Potter out on his game and therefore, he had  _won_ — proving once and for all that there was nothing Potter could do to get one up on him.  
  
Right?


End file.
